Tax for All Walks !

If there is one thing that all the Working Junta would dread on the common plate , it is the Tax factor. Contrary to our everyday greed when it comes to Tax - The lesser , the better .

On the funny side , I had read something interesting about it and thought of sharing the following piece. It sums up to prove everything aforesaid and that for everything that we do , we have some sort of Tax to pay ! Here is how -

1) Qus. : What are you doing?Ans. : Business.
OK PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?Ans. : Selling the Goods.
OK PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?Ans. : From other State/Abroad
OK PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY !

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?Ans. : Profit.
OK PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?Ans : By way of dividend
OK Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?Ans -: Factory.
OK PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?Ans - Yes
OK PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8)Qus. : Do you have Staff?Ans. : Yes
OK PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?Ans. : Yes/No
OK if Yes PAY TURNOVER TAX!
And if No , Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?Ans. : Yes, for Salary
OK PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?Ans. : Hotel
OK PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?Ans. : Yes
OK PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?Ans. : Yes
OK PAY SERVICE TAX !

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?Ans. : Gift on birthday.
OK PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?Ans. : Yes
OK PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Wow ! PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?Ans. : Yes
OK PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18 Qus.: How you Travel?Ans. : Bus
OK PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?

Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
OK PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) Qus.: Do you own a Vehicle?Ans.: Yes
OK Pay Road Tax!

22) Qus.: Do you drive a Vehicle?Ans.: Yes
OK Pay Toll Tax!

23) INDIAN :: Can I Die Now??

Ans :: WAIT WE ARE ABOUT TO LAUNCH THE FUNERAL TAX!!!

P.S. - The above conversation is just for fun only.
The progress of a nation like India is so hugely dependent on the taxes that we pay. The more money you pay , the more contribution you make and hence the more valuable (& responsible) Citizen you are !

So till you are acquainted with some tax-saving policies , Keep paying the Taxes !

CWG - A Wealth Building Exercise

A national level pandemonium does not stand as a surprise to us – we have had plenty of them !
But the scale of height reached by the CommonWealth game issue is something sufficient enough to hurt the pride of every Indian.

The recent hullabaloo over the Construction ( read – Misconstruction !) of the CWG arrangements and the subsequent Breakage , the filthy paper-photos of the dilapidated ambience within CWG – would leave no stone unturned to bury the nose of India !

Thanks Politicians , Bureaucrats , Contractors and all those associated with CWG for this misfortune ! We are pretty sure you might have pocketed plenty of monetary fortune by selling the pride of India.

Doesn’t this raise the question – if India is not prepared to host something of International Standard ?

Personally I believe it’s just not worth watering 70,000 crores on CWG – No offence but what are we trying to prove ? Don’t we have more Internal problems , issues that needs more of that money instead of CWG.

Common Wealth game – have definitely made a section of people Commonly Wealthy for sure !

Ayodhya to India

And the most awaited verdict on Ayodhya is on the hot platter !
The whole nation is looking upto the decision that would be taken by the bench of veterans - something that surely holds the gigantic strength to shake the Nations' backbone.

A decision favoring Either would tread on the Sentiments of Another - Marking the defeat of the common people in Both ways !

A Temple or a Mosque – would never solve a problem - it never did until and unless we are ready at heart to accept the positive changes way above our Religious believes.

I am not here to polish my judgmental shoes but as a citizen of a democratic country , I definitely don’t see a Temple or a Mosque as the most viable and benevolent solution in the 21st century.

India has deeper needs , succumbing infrastructure , poor people and hundreds of other on-fire crucial problems which requires the so-called attention very badly. So the point is , instead of a Temple or a Mosque , why don’t we invest in something  bigger, better prospects , good of Humanity and the Country and build anything more relevant – An Old-age home , a Feeless-school , an Hospital , a Training Center for the Physically handicapped , an Orphanage – there are so many worthwhile options available !

Let’s keep the eyes glued onto something positive and intellectual - far above the sentimental ( and judgmental) delicacies .
I am very much optimistic and confident that the final verdict would be something in the progressive interest of the Nation !

Dabangg

Watched Dabaang this weekend.
And boy ! Bollywood ,for sure, has produced such solid potboilers on rare occasions.

Dabaang can not boast of a radically distinctive storyline but despite the way it is presented – the style , the dialogues , songs , desi dance moves – you can not help getting enthralled.

No nowaday-so-common Swiss or NYC locations, no unnecessary fancy outfits , no cost-you-like-hell swampy glitterati. Instead scoring all over – Desi Tadka – true Indian style , makes you forget the contemporary cinematic dreamworld ( rather Dematerialized Fancy world for the common junta ) .

All said and done – the movie belongs to Salman Khan – you can not think of anybody else as the bad-ass cop - brat , witty , stylish , full-of-attitude - Chulbul Robinhood Pande , except him !
Cutom-made , it so wonderfully fit him - Dabangg would definitely either make the critics praise him or if not so at least silence their voice.

Keep your critical hat off , leave the judgemental glasses behind - just sit back and watch - entertainment guaranteed !
My 250 bucks did not bite the dust after a long long time !

And I was happier !

Tasking the Multi

Multitasking has been , seen and done it all – with a lot written , argued , fought over it !

Nevertheless I would ,anyday, prefer not to agree to its credibility - Multitasking does not pay the dividend at all – even if I sound sarcastic – then I am despite all the sumptuous arguments that you might appreciate me with !

When you have one job at one hand and the only thing in your mind to get it done – the sense , the efforts and the heed strikes one dimensional chord. Unsurprisingly better results , better profits and surmounting productivity !

These vicious words probably come from the fact that – personally, it’s never been a smooth ride at all instances of Multitasking. Even at certain cases of Pyrrhic victories. Juggling the balls does look nice at times but it sure paves the way to bite the dust.

Have you ever tried writing a piece of article , putting the clothes in the washing machine , eating an apple-pie and answering a call – probably you might think of some better sane tasks to multitask . But the point is while trying to pack all of them and get it done more often than not we screw up. At least I do – but if you are amongst Those unlike me – Yes I do envy you.
I would rather finish my article at peace , put the clothes in the washing machine , answer the call and reward myself with an apple-pie – jostling and juggling are quite not my cup of tea!

And I pride myself on that !

Mann Lafanga Bada

Man lafanga bada

Apne mann ki kare
Hoo yun toh mera hi hai
Mujhse bhi na darre
Woh bheege bheege,
Khayalon mein dooba rahe
Main sambhal Ja kahun
Fisalta rahe
Ishq mehnga pade
Phir bhi sauda kare

Hoo jaane kyun,
Udaasi iss ko pyaari lagey
Chaahe kyun nayi si
Koi beemari lagey
Bechaini raaton ki,
Neendon mein aankhein jagey
Lamha har lamha kyun,
Bojh sa bhaari lagey
Hoo bhanwra sa ban ke machalta hai
Bas tere peeche peeche chalta hai
Junoon sa lahu mein ubalta hai
Luccha be baat hi uchalta hai

Woh bheege bheege,
Khayalon mein dooba rahe
Main sambhal
Ja kahun fisalta rahe
Ishq mehnga pade
Phir bhi sauda kare

Oo ambar ke paari,
Jaane kya takkta rahe
Baadal ke gaon mein,
Baaki batakta rahe
Teri hi khushboo mein,
Yeh toh mehekta rahe
Dheemi si aanch pe,
Ishq sa pakta rahe
Oo teri hi baaton se pighalta hai
Chai mein cheeni jaise ghulta hai
Deewana aisa kahan milta hai
Pyaar mein yaaro sab chalta hai
Ho bheege bheege,
Khayalon mein dooba rahe
Main sambhal
Ja kahun fisalta rahe
Ishq mehnga pade
Phir bhi sauda kare

P.S. - Just love this song - Awesome lyrics !

Yeh hain India Meri Jaan !

So you scaled the world over off from a foreign land and just reached India?

A warm Welcome first of all.

Rest, be assured of some really good experience here -breathtakingly different, find-no-where stuff, almost Out Of the Box!

Talk about being different - unimaginable things are made possible here , in the-road-less-travelled-way, every other day !

Almost Out of the Box . Yes they are !

How much of the below would you ever find anywhere in the world -

- A cart, a car and a bull racing against each other on the road.

- Water-filled potholes on the lane and sometimes even people fishing in that.

- Besotted blokes lying on some field-corner in sunny day-time.

- A traffic police watching hue and cry on the road from a nearby pan-shop.

- Mercedes and a Bicycle parked side by side .

- People running beside and behind to catch a Moving bus.

- Footpaths half-occupied by sellable items

- A fearless cow , rolling unscathed ( mostly) , on a railway track !

- A bunch of people who walk on the road before election and roam in bullet-proof car thereafter – we call them Politicians !

Nevertheless all the Exciting pandemonium , this land would appropriate that you have a ball of a time as we believe in – Atithi Devo Bhava ( Guest is God ) !

So enjoy madi !

Past , Present and Then Some More

The Human needs are so prolific most of the times – We keep striving and leave no stone unturned to feed our hunger , quite opulent – almost always !

Certain amount of changes have so fast crept in over the past few years that looking back some things seem quite strange and funny at the same time.

Reminiscent of college days - running around Cyber cafes was such a common scene. Consider urself as damn lucky if you could possibly manage to grab a sysetm\seat after waiting for half an hour !
Oh yes – you always take ur buddy along with you so that the Surfing payment can be divided equally! Penny-pinching ah ? Not really!
Having internet at home 24/7 , at the clicks away, would have looked like a lavish or rather Luxury I would say at that time!

Being Brand-conscious was so risky and non-manageable considering the fixed amount of money , you used to pocket by then.
And now ?

Brand nahin to kuch nahin !

Those Levis’ jeans , UCB Tees , Louis Philippe shirts , Peter England pants throb inside the wardrobe now. From the pin to tin , shoes to socks , food to diet , wine to dine – it’s all about brand , brand and some more brand.

The monthly expense of the bygone days are, now ,not sufficient to pay even ur mobile bills sometimes !

Day’s getting costlier with every minutes passing by.

We are not complaining though . Because Change happens only for the Good of the Bigger Better picture of Life.

Ubiquitous

The syllables I mumble
Aren’t those of some essence
If at all they need to be
I must procure my ground.

Burying the ego at the deepest hour
Some sort of playing around
Might loosen the bolts
Or do tighten them to the best

 Rescuing must happen from the core
Or so it seems to be
Aren’t all of those stuck-up speeches
Testifying thy presence ?

Equate the sum of all
And you get the biggest zero
Divide , subtract and nullify - All it does fetch you
Is another Bigger Zero !

Not all letters have some meaning
Even if you jumble all the way
Some things stand so complicated
That it turns around to be the best !!!

Office Space

Recently watched an old movie – Office Space ( Justified to say “Old” for 1999 I guess !)

And boy ! Was pleasantly amazed. Had I watched it 10 years back , I would not have enjoyed the movie so much as I did now.

The IT folks can so easily relate to this movie – the daily office nuisances , bugging boss ( if u r unlucky !) , Monday blues , Functional Specs , Review comments , Coffee breaks , Short-term crushes ,Birthday celebrations , Weekend-working , Late hours, Peer gossips , One-to-one meetings , Deadlines, Traumatic Xerox machines , Performance reviews , Newer policies , Paycheck issues and so on and on !

The character that I found to be the most remarkable is that of the boss of INITECH – Bill Lumbergh ( Gary Cole) with his impeccable skill to find the slightest and sleekest loopholes and a very unique style of racking – “Yeeeaaah , if you can just go ahead and do it , that would be greaaaat !”. You can see this guy walking from pillar to post in the office with a cup full of never-ending coffee and harassing the employees . His proverbial "So what's happening ?" is the most dreaded line which often initiates a fresh line of work or some sort of trouble for the employees. Watch the movie and you will know what I am talking about. Lumbergh gets 10 on 10 as the guile & irritating boss to make the plot a perfect slapstick.

And so is Peter (Ron Livingston), the Lumbergh-tortured , victimized employee who turns , after a Hypnotherapy session, into the devil-may-care slack-skinned dude ( or employee rather) and gets a promotion nevertheless whereas his hard-working friends Michael Bolton ( David Herman) and Samir ( Ajay Naidu) gets short-listed for the pink slips !

Not to forget a miserably tormented Milton(Stephen Root) - Habituated to moving his desk every now and then , heads his workstation to the Basement Storage house finally upon Lumbergh's prolonged windy pinches ! The overly troubled soul works in the office and gets his paychecks even 5 years after he was laid off just because no one ever told him that he was sacked !

A thoroughly enjoyable comedy – custom-made for a weekend watch and getting ready for the ensuing Monday Blues !

The Big and Small of it

Small is the Big sometimes ! And speaking in terms of the volumes of contribution , so it is - Most of the times.

Small things , small matters and small people go unnoticed without the sound of claps and deserved acclamation more often than not !

The Cab driver who wakes up and gets to work at an unearthly hour so that you can reach work on time.

The Postman who walks under the blistering sun-light to make sure the courier gets delivered to you at the comfort of Air-conditioned home.

The Security guard who tries to be awake at night to safeguard the property ( and sometimes his job as well ! )

The Kissan (Farmer) , slogging throughout the year , at the paddy field to feed the nation.

The Workers plugging away at different Mills, Industries to generate the daily amenities.

The Newspaper guy who makes sure you receive the latest news at your doorstep even though it’s raining cats and dogs outside.

The Traffic-police ( barring the bribe-takers – believe me , we still have few Honest ones !) who stands amidst the polluted ambience all day long to keep the chaos out of the road.

The Municipality Sweeper , cleaning the drainage , wastage and dirt Contributed by the masses every day.

The Labourer breaking the stones , under the sun and the rain , at the roadside to finish off the fly-over on time.

Add the Thelawala , the Rickshawpooler , the Kooli to this Elite section - Just some of the Unsung Junta of the Nation.

Simple and sober , powerless yet powerful , unspoken yet a necessity - they are a crucial part of the Nations’ backbone - not by Profession but by the effort and dedication they put in each and every minute - quite Unconvinced and Unaware of the admiration – they so badly deserve !

This simple post is just a way of saying - THANKS to all of them !

Bharat Bandh

The Bandh Culture is back again to the much euphoria of the masses !

We , Indians , have a unique way of protesting – calling for a Bandh – a total shut-down of the entire daily-working machinery !

And people , like me , are ecstatic , not that we care much about the cause of the Bandh but that we don’t have to go the office/college that day.
On a sarcastic note , lets sit back , relax at home , watch movies and be a total couch-potato !

And only God knows if it is a good sign for a country like ours !